Okay, so we're headed back to my hometown for the holidays. We haven't been back in a number of years, and thought it would be fun to watch the youngster's kvelling over their gifts.
Sometimes my brain becomes confused and can't discern between the fantasy family I wish I had and the one I really ended up with, which might explain why we booked the tickets. The holiday always render me particularly vulnerable. Today it was made clear to me just what I would be venturing into, as we got to have THREE different conversations about the odd eating habits my husband and I have that threaten to shatter their peaceful Midwestern Christmas.
Apparently my sister was planning on having ham for Christmas dinner; since I don't like ham, everything must be changed because of me. Mind you, I did not ask for any special dispensation, as I was perfectly willing to say nothing about the poor dead pig and just eat side dishes, but suddenly the entire holiday meal is in an uproar.
My husband's sin is much worse; he's a vegetarian. It seems that nobody on either side of my family knows any vegetarians, and the whole idea completely baffles them. Approaching any potential meal with him that is not prepared by and outside source takes on a side-show quality that makes him seem more like a rare type of mammal than someone who doesn't eat meat. My mother and I had a half-hour long e-mail conversation about it, and I know the whole situation is stressing everyone out.
I should have known better, but now the entire holiday will be about how to feed my husband and how they can't have ham. I think I want to stay home.
P.S. - For those unfamiliar with the more common types of vegetarians, I have located this resource for you. The husband is the least involved type; he just does not eat meat. It's actually pretty easy to wrap your head around if you try.